What am I really fearing?

I’m getting back into journaling and this morning, I opened up a notebook that I’d used as a journal in the past and found this:

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… and there’s my trusty, red pen. Not staged. I swear.

I had written this about six years ago when I was in the midst of a big, annoying anxiety attack. I had a lot of feelings of fear and was trying to make sense of it all.

Looking back on this today, I really feel a sense of pride. Yes, I still fear those things that I wrote down six years ago, but I also think about those same fears way less often (thank God!) and in ways that are more helpful than scary. I’ve grown. And I’m thankful for that.

It’s oftentimes hard to see personal growth when you’re in it — living your life every day — but seeing these words on that page was a really good reminder for me that, although I’m not the version of myself I, ultimately, want to be, I’m making good progress in getting there.